college, Uncategorized

And that’s a wrap

They really aren’t kidding when they say college goes by fast……

Yesterday marked the last day of me being a junior in college, and honestly I’m so relieved.  Not the fact that I have one more year left, but having nothing to do.  This semester was the worst semester I’ve ever had–subpar classes, track, suite mate problems, feeling like a piece of shit and the list goes on…. I’ve never been more excited to go home and recharge my batteries.

 

 

 

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Running, Uncategorized

Feelings toward SBU’s first track program since the ’30s

Honestly, I don’t even know how to feel towards track.  After running 6 seasons of BOTH indoor and outdoor on top of 6 seasons of cross country in high school, I definitely have mixed feelings.

What stood out about St. Bonaventure was how we were only a cross country team, and in the spring would run 1 or 2 meets for practice.  I liked how I wouldn’t strain/ burn out my body by running all year round.  Now, we are considered an A10 track team, which scares me.

Pros

  • Having more money
  • **Easier transition into summer training**
  • Not getting fat

And the Cons…

  • St. Bonaventure: 1,900 students. All other A10 schools: 10,000+ students
  • Western New York weather sucks

Running is considered an individual sport as well as a team sport.  Doing well individually is what makes our team as a whole score better.  My coach always tells me that it doesn’t matter how you place amongst all the other runners, but to only focus on improving yourself. But for me, I care about everything.

I do care how I place amongst other runners.  I do care if I place not as well as I had hoped. I do care if my time is off. I do care if we as a team finish last. And I do care what other people think.

If I run bad, everyone will think I’m slow

My biggest worry is that: If I run bad, everyone will think I’m slow.

Earlier in the week, I met with a sports pyschologist because running stresses me out. How could running be my passion AND make me so stressed out to the point where I feel like crying/ puking??? It’s because I care so much.  I’m a perfectionist.  I expect to run well every time, to PR every time, to feel good every time… In reality, no one can have good days all the time.  I’m slowly learning that it’s OK to not run well every time, to PR every time and to feel good every time.  I’m learning to except my failures because in the end everything will work out.

I spend so much energy trying to fight off my inner demons inside my head when I run that I exert so much negative energy.  It sucks.  No matter how hard I try, I always find myself stressing out.  The only way to better myself is to be calm and stay positive.

I think how lucky I am to be able to run at a D1 level because not many people have that opportunity.

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st bonaventure, Uncategorized

Living in a boring town

To tell you the truth, I never pictured myself living in Western New York, especially Olean, a town where almost nothing ever happens outside St. Bonaventure. Growing up, my dad used to brag about how great of a school it is.  The partying, the athletics, the people, the camaraderie-everything.  Still, I wanted nothing to do with it.

My dad encouraged me to go on a tour and I finally agreed to it.  From Albany, N.Y. to Olean is about 5 hours and the whole way I bitched about how boring the car ride was.  For most of the drive I questioned whether or not there’s even civilization because all I saw was acres of unused land.

I’m not coming here

I don’t like it

There’s no one on campus. Why is there no one on campus? 

Over and over again, I thought to myself how St. Bonaventure wasn’t the school for me, and that I went on a tour to make my dad happy.  Boy was I wrong.

As it turned out, St. Bonaventure is the school for me.  I love it and I couldn’t imagine how different my college experience would be if I went elsewhere.  My dad was right about everything.  All these years, I refused to believe how great of a school St. Bonaventure is.

Despite the town of Olean/Allegany being so boring with absolutely nothing to do, St. Bonaventure has changed me.  I always wanted to go far away to college because I wanted to experience an environment different from Albany and meet people different from the people I went to high school with.  While there’s not much diversity at Bonas, I’ve met people who are very different from me, and that was exactly what I wanted when I decided to go to school 5 hours away from my hometown.